“Modest doubt is called the beacon of the wise.”

Really? If that wise quote from Shakespeare is true, then I must be the wisest woman ever to have walked the earth. On most days, I am plagued by doubt — what normal, non-narcissist isn't? The never-ending string of decisions that we have to make every day can get tiresome, and I sure have my share these days. For instance, should I paint our powder room the same blue as our bedroom (which I love)? Should I move the daylilies that I hate from the front of our house to the back, or, horror of horrors, throw them away? What about that growing pile of clothes that are too small, outdated and otherwise undesirable that has taken up residence on my bedroom floor? Do I choose to take an hour (or two, or three) to tackle that when there is so much more to be done? (By the way, if any of the four people who read my blog know the answers to any of these questions, please let me know. Thank you.) Bangs or no? (I already decided, and bangs it is) Should I use satin or semi gloss on my kitchen cabinets? Should I even attempt painting them? Should Bob quit his job and start teaching, like we've always wanted? (Wait, one part of that is answered, but what about the other part?)

Then there's the big stuff. Another kid? With 35 rearing its ugly head later this year, I was supposed to be done. I should've gotten pregnant just after Jack's first birthday, but we weren't sure. My heart aches to think that I may not have any more of these:

#1

#2

#3

Ok, so I know that my LDS friends will tell me to pray. And I do, a lot. But, I think that a lot of decisions, particularly the little ones, are really left up to us. I am well aware of my limitations, and I'm sure I could handle another one, but could I handle it well? That's the question.

Now, there's a lot that I DO know. I know that our Heavenly Father loves us so much that he gave us a prophet...it would be pretty tough going it alone, wouldn't it? I know that my family can be together forever and ever. I know that my husband will always be here for us in so many ways. I also know that Stevie Wonder is and will always be the best ever, even if my aforementioned husband tries to sway me whenever the opportunity presents itself. I know that my mom will never be judgmental (or will at least keep it to herself) no matter how crazy I get. I know that at an early age, I found the best darn recipe for chocolate cookies on the back of a bag of Stater Brothers chocolate chips (which I still have, nearly 20 years later!). I know what I want for my kids' future. I know what I want out of a friend.

So, I guess this little rant has afforded me some clarity on the subject of doubt...there's a lot of stuff I just KNOW, no doubt attached. Maybe I need to start trusting myself a little more.

P.S. You can post the answers to all my questions in the comments, or by separate email. Don't forget to cite sources and pertinent factual data.